The following scene occurred the other night, just after the Don finished watching Breaking Bad...
The Don: Michele, youse know what I think? This Walter White guy--we gotta bring more teachers into the famiglia. My nephew, Lorenzo: he could do with some tutoring.
Me: Um, this is a TV show, boss.
The Don: Hey, but there's no smoke without fire. Speaking of which, Lorenzo came to me talking about some crazy quiz you did. And he's says youse the smoke that's gotta get fired.
Me: I beg your pardon?
The Don: He got only one question right. Now what kinda quiz is that? And he tells me there's a whole bunch of dames who done good. And youse gonna pay 'em. Tell me my ears are deceivin' me.
Me: Well, yes. Lorenzo's right--
The Don: --He's a clever boy.
Me: Yes, Don. I know. He's right. There are a bunch of amazing middle grade know-it-alls out there--
The Don: These brainy dames?
Me: Yes, they do all happen to be women.
The Don: (Sighing) What are they doin'? Reading all the hours God gave 'em? Perhaps I should put them in charge of this blog thing of yours?
Me: Well, they'd probably do a better job.
The Don: Hey, I'm just jokin' with ya, Michele. You're doin' okay. But next time, you talk with me first, capice? We gotta get Lorenzo in the winner's circle. Otherwise, my sister gonna kill me. He's her favorite son.
Me: Got it, boss.
The Don: So who are these clever dames then? We should pay them a visit.
Me: (thinking I better look up the number for the witness protection program) There were two of them who got 100 per cent.
The Don: An A++. Brava complimenti. Their names?
Me: Joanne Fritz and Nikki Matteson. So, I'm going to split the prize and give them each $25--
The Don: You mean 25 grand?
Me: Uh no. Not unless you increase the blog budget.
The Don: They did all that work for $25 measly bucks? No wonder Lorenzo's not going places.
Me: Well, Nikki's going to get an extra $5 because she referred someone to the quiz.
The Don: Now you're talking! A pyramid scheme. So much cleaner than being a chemistry teacher in a meth lab. Che pazzo! Hey, this Nikki. She Italian?
I left him making plans to get Joanne and Nikki involved in something nefarious. In the meantime, J & N, I'll be contacting both of you soon--please change your names and rent a post office box. Look for a plain brown envelope. Take it, and run!
Everyone: thanks for taking the time to do the quiz. You all rock. (Special honorable mention to Akoss, who got 95%.) I've got warm and fuzzy feelings thinking about all the Middle Grade Masters out there.
